I Can't Be Your Friend
by SG1SamFan
Summary: Sam's POV. First chapter is based on a song of the same name by Rushlow. My first fanfic ever, so please r&r. Jack O'Neill and I just can't be friends, anymore. SJ. NOTE: As of now, I won't be updating this, but thanks to all who showed their support.
1. I Can't Be Your Friend

I Can't Be Your Friend

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance, Song, Thoughts

Summary: "Jack O'Neill and I just can't be friends, anymore."

Song: "I Can't Be Your Friend" by Rushlow. To listen to the song that inspired this fic, do a Google search on " 'Tim Rushlow- I Can't Be Your Friend' " and click on the link (it will be close to the top, if not _at_ the top) to a lyrics page that is under the domain (the song should play automatically).

Season: Late season eight

Spoilers: Knowledge of Sam's and Jack's supposed promotions in season eight.

Featured Character(s): Samantha Carter

Pairing(s): Sam/Jack (Like there is any other _realistic_ pairing!)

Archive: With my permission. I only ask that you ask me first (but I'd be honored!).

WARNINGS: Mild swearing, but no more than on the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, but I wish I did. Don't sue me. Oh, yeah, and Rushlow owns the song "I Can't Be Your Friend". I don't. (Uh, duh!)

A/N: This is the first fanfic I've _ever_ written, so please be nice. (I wasn't even aware I _had_ a muse until mine started bugging me to write this!) Also, this story has _not_ been beta-ed, so any mistakes are entirely my own. Thoughts are in single quotes ('abc'), thoughts from Sam's "inner voices" are in single quotes and underlined ('abc'), and lyrics are in double quotes ("abc").

And now, our feature presentation…

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter sat in her lab in the SGC, mulling over the largest problem she had dealt with since… since she had attempted to solve an algebraic equation at the tender age of five.

What was this conundrum, this Gordian knot that could not be untied?

_Feelings,_ that's what.

Naquada reactors and subspace fields could be dealt with. _Feelings_, on the other hand, were, indeed, a problem of great magnitude, an equation that couldn't be solved through any amount of scientific calculation.

'Why does this have to be so hard a decision?' Sam thought angrily, her azure eyes cutting sharply into the depressing, military-gray, concrete walls of her lab.

'Oh, I don't know. Why _would _it be such a hard decision?' a voice in her head mocked sarcastically. 'This is _only_ the rest of your life you're determining.'

God! Her _thoughts_ were even starting to sound like him.

With an exasperated sigh, Sam picked up from her desk a piece of bright white computer paper, pausing to scowl derisively at its contents. Meticulously folding the precious document into thirds, she shut down her computer and gathered up her things. Not even bothering to change out of her loosely fitting military-issue BDU's, she headed out to her silver Volvo and left the base, signing out at the gate.

Driving home, Sam turned on the radio. Randomly tweaking the control knob, she happened to tune into a country station. A new song had just started playing; it had a mellow, upbeat guitar sound and a medium tempo emphasized by the strong rhythm of drums. The man singing it had a rich voice, and Sam found herself listening intently to the lyrics.

"This might come as quite a shock

But I've given it a lot of thought

This thing that's come between us can't be ignored"

For some reason, the words instantly felt familiar to Sam. 'I can sure say that I've thought about this "thing" a whole _helluva_ lot,' she thought. 'It's _way_ too important to forget about.' The song went on:

"I've taken all I can

And this is where it's gotta end

I can't be your friend, anymore

"And I can't be accused

Of not being there for you

How many nights have you shown up at my door

I hope you understand

That this wasn't in my plans

But I can't be your friend, anymore"

'I really _didn't_ plan to fall in love with my CO, did I?' Sam mused.

'Of course you didn't, dear, but fate is so cruel,' her heart said with a heavy sigh.

"And it's killing me to know you

Without having a chance to hold you

And all I want to do is show you

How I really feel inside

You can run to me, you can laugh at me

Or you can walk right out that door

But I can't be your friend, anymore

"So baby now it's up to you

Do I win or do I lose

Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor

Well, take me as I am

Cuz I wanna be your man

But I can't be your friend, anymore"

'Will I win his love? Will I lose his friendship, or worse, his respect?' Sam asked herself. 'I really don't know; none of what happens after this is up to me. _His _reaction will decide what my future holds, and if he feels the way I think he does…' Sam stopped short. _If._ How could a one syllable word like that frighten _her_, Dr. Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter, theoretical astrophysicist and kick-ass soldier? She used bigger words than that every single day!

'I can answer that, Carter. It's because you're afraid of the unknown,' said an annoying voice in her head.

'As much as I appreciate your nice little imitation of Dr. Mackenzie,' Sam snapped at the voice, 'that's _not_ what I need right now.'

At the same time, though, and as much as it hurt her pride, Sam knew the little voice was right. She was afraid of the uncertainty of having her life, her whole future, put into someone else's hands. But there was not a single person she'd trust with her fate more than Jack.

"And it's killing me to know you

Without having a chance to hold you

And all I want to do is show you

How I really feel inside

You can run to me, you can laugh at me

Or you can walk right out that door

But I can't be just friends, anymore

"We can't be just friends, anymore"

'I hate knowing "Colonel O'Neill", knowing "Sir", but not knowing the real man, not knowing "Jack". That _is_ killing me. Maybe I should just do what I've been thinking about doing for seven years. What's the worst that could happen?'

'He could end up breaking your heart, and then your sacrifice would have been for _nothing_."

'Okay, so that's a distinct possibility. But I'll have to take that risk; I just can't do it, anymore. All I really know for certain is that whether Jack O'Neill holds me or pushes me away, I can't be his friend, just his friend, any longer. Jack O'Neill and I just can't be friends, anymore.'

And with that thought Sam Carter pulled a 180, heart racing at the fear of her unknown future, hands gripping the wheel like it was her lifeline, car racing back toward the base… finally ready to hand in her letter of resignation to General O'Neill.

-Fin!-

A/N: Tell me what ya think! I'd _love_ to hear how amazing my story was… but if my writing needs work, (as I'm sure it does) feel free to give me some kind and constructive criticism (but that means no flaming!). Also, let me know if you want a second chapter from Jack's POV.


	2. Are We Really More Than Friends?

Are We _Really_ More Than Friends?

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst, Romance, Thoughts

Summary: "Carter, what the _hell_ were you thinking!?!"

Song: Not in this chapter

Season: Late season eight

Spoilers: Chimera (Ep. 715), as well as knowledge of Sam's and Jack's supposed promotions in season eight.

Featured Character(s): Samantha Carter, Jack O'Neill

Pairing(s): Sam/Jack (Like there is any other _realistic_ pairing!)

Archive: Only with my permission.

WARNINGS: Mild swearing, but no worse than on the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. If I did, would I be writing fanfiction? Hmm? So be nice and don't sue me.

A/N: I've changed the season from "sometime in season eight" to "late season eight", because I think it would make more sense later in the season, I've added "angst" as another genre, because this story will probably become quite angsty. This story also assumes that season eight is the last season of the series (sniff). Thoughts are in single quotes ('abc'), thoughts from Jack's and Sam's "inner voices" are in single quotes and underlined ('abc'), and spoken words are in double quotes ("abc"). Oh, yeah, and I broke my ankle about a week ago, so I'll be finishing and posting this chapter and the next one pretty soon. I don't have much to do but hang around the computer all day ;-).

And now, our feature presentation…

Jack

"Carter, what the _hell_ were you thinking!?! I won't even bother to ask if you _were_ thinking, because we both know you think all the time."

"Sir, I-"

"Forget it. Request to resign _denied_."

"General-"

"Dismissed, _Lt. Colonel!_"

General Jack O'Neill watched as Sam gave him a withering glare, turned on her heel, and stormed out of his office. Her flashing eyes and the stubborn set of her jaw told him she was livid. At him.

'That went _well._'

'It's not my fault Carter's being dense!'

'_Dense?_ She's sharper than you on her _bad_ days!!!'

'I _meant_ "dense for _Carter_"!'

'Maybe she had a _reason_ for wanting to resign?'

'Oh, no. She moved on with _Pete_. She doesn't feel that way about me, anymore. I'd be fooling myself if I thought so.'

'I never said that _you_ were her reason.'

'Well, you certainly implied it.'

'You _are_ talking to _yourself,_ here. _You_ implied it.'

Shaking his head to get his aggravating alter ego to shut up, General O'Neill exhaled loudly. "I hate this job," he said out loud.

Sam

The way Sam was walking and the belligerent look on her face caused several SF's to sidestep out of her way as she passed them.

'I _told_ you this might happen, Samantha.'

'I didn't think it would. He _has_ to accept my resignation.'

'You known damn well he doesn't.'

'He's normally not like this. Why did Jack O'Neill decide that the defining moment of my life was the perfect time to be a stubborn ass!?!'

'Because he's Jack O'Neill. He doesn't need a reason.'

As Sam broke out of her thoughts, she realized where she was headed. She had looped around the gate room and was on her way back to the general's office.

"He is _not_ going to get away with being an idiot, this time," she muttered as she gathered her courage, strode up to his door, and knocked.

"Come in," she heard him say.

Jack

'This had better be important,' thought Jack, thoroughly annoyed that someone would have the audacity to bother him while he was in a bad mood.

"Sir..."

General O'Neill glanced up at the sound of Carter's voice. "I thought I said you were dismissed," he said, looking down and pretending to shuffle papers on his desk. She closed the door.

"Sir, I need to explain why I want to resign."

"Carter, as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing _to_ explain," said Jack, making eye contact with her. She stared back at him with a gaze he recognized as the one she used when she was _not_ going to back down. "Oh, fine, Carter. Explain away," he said sarcastically, motioning for her to sit down.

Sam

"Sir," Sam said, taking the proffered seat, "I have come to the realization that a life in the Air Force may not be the best option for me." She paused, sighing heavily. "Sir, the Goa'uld have been defeated. We've allied ourselves with the Ancients. The truth is, I… I've decided that some things are more important than the Air Force. Things like… relationships… having a life."

'…with _you_,' her mind added.

Jack

Sam, who had been staring down at the general's desk during her last sentence, didn't notice Jack's face fall visibly at the mention of "relationships". 'I guess she really _is_ serious about Pete, after all,' he thought. Suddenly, she straightened up again, snapping back into speech mode. "If I were to resign from the Air Force, I would be willing to accept a position as a civilian scientist at the SGC, reporting directly to the Pentagon. However, my desire to resign does not depend on the availability of this position." She paused again, gazing deep into his eyes. "General, _please_. This is what I want."

Sam watched General O'Neill as he glanced down at the papers he had been shuffling earlier. "You're _sure_, Sam?" he said as he looked at her again.

She looked up, surprised that he had called her by her given name. She took a deep breath. "Yes," she said with certainty.

He paused. "Then I'll send your resignation on to the president. I'm sure he'd be quite happy to let you stay here as a civilian scientist, and I'm certain he'll understand why you want to report to the Pentagon instead of to me. That shouldn't be a problem." He chuckled. "God knows _I_ can't understand your reports. You're dismissed."

"Thank you, sir." She smiled, then stood and walked confidently out of his office.

"Good luck with your life," Jack whispered quietly when he was sure she was gone.

-TBC-

A/N: Though I planned to have this chapter be from Jack's POV only, my muse didn't like that idea, so we came to a comprimise and I wrote it from both POV's. It's a little shorter than last time, but I wanted to post what I had, and I thought that that was a good place to leave it. I'll explain more about the Sam/Pete relationship in later chapters. I'm working on the next chapter already, so it might possibly be posted by the end of the week… that is, _if_ you review! C'mon, you know what the little blue button is for! Whether you liked it : )… or not : ( .


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